I had a guy on my table today who was barely over 30 years of age. A coroners case, we simply don't know why he died. He just did, one minute he was there and the next, gone. This happens more frequently than you'd think. He had really beautiful hair, and as I was styling it I told him so. I would never really have reason to tell a grown man that he had beautiful shiny hair, but, given the circumstance, I was a little lost for words and felt I wanted to say SOMETHING positive.
I wonder if this man, at the completion of his life, would look back on his days with any regret? He was just so young...
If I were to die right now I'd be pretty pissed off. You see, I am aware I need to get my life on some sort of awesome-train. I don't have any major regrets, but in my 25 years I haven't really pushed myself in any capacity...I feel like a deflated plastic toy in a lukewarm bubble-less bath. Yikes! Deep....
How do you know if you're on the right path? Career wise, things for me are engaging, thought provoking, influential and rewarding. My relationships are enriched, honest and loyal, but can you ever know if you're surrounding yourself with the right people? How do you know if it wouldn't be better to simply swap lovers with your neighbours or your best friends? Should you go back to find your first love? Should you travel the globe and learn a little about a lot, or stay put building a strong network, learning a lot about a little?
Many a question, not many an answer. I have my thinking hat on, perhaps because my birthday is coming up soon and I can hear clocks ticking faster than I'd like. My take-home lesson from today though, is that my clock is different to anyone elses and tomorrow my time might just be up.
Peace. x
Good stuff this, I like this train of thought. No answers though other than the only regrets I ever had were the things I'd wish I HAD done and didn't. The stupid things I DID do I laugh about now and don't regret them like I did at the time.
ReplyDeleteEddie
If we run out of questions, what's left of life to live?
ReplyDeleteIm in my late 30s.
ReplyDeleteYou always feel that way. The yearning for what could be is sometimes overwhelming. But for that different path you could have taken, well, you wouldn't be on this one. And your path, from my ancient Yoda cataract lens filled eyes, looks like a pretty kewl one.
In my first proper job I actually had a piece of used sponge I kept in the handle of my mug to seal envelopes with because my job was to send out the mail and my work hadn't bought self sealed envelopes. That was about when I was your age.
So you win!
PS I bet he appreciated the styling. I was wondering the other day ... if you couldn't slip an embalmer to take some stuff out as the other stuff went in. So you'd leave a slimmer corpse... A last fck you to all your friends to leave them seething that how you pay have tripped off to the light fantastic but geez you dropped some weight before you went!
PPS My word veri is ikeybo. That would be the name of your manga comic if your life was turned into a Japanese cartoon series.
I think you're on the right track. If you look at your life and say 'if I died tomorrow, would I have done what I wanted to do?' and say no, then you need to do the things that you want to die having done. (I know that was the most convoluted sentence ever, but I think you get the drift).
ReplyDeleteAt 25 I'd done almost none of the things I wanted to do by then. But by 27 I could look back and say 'hey, you know what - if I go now, I've given it my best shot'. So whether that's bungee jumping, quilting or overseas travel, I say do it.
I think the years between 25-40 go awfully quickly. I spent them getting married and having kids and not knowing what I wanted to be when I grow up. I've finally figured that part out, and I guess it would be nice to have known what that was back when I was 25... but I didn't. But I wouldnt change anything either. How does that saying go? "Shoulda Woulda Prada".
ReplyDelete