Monday, September 19, 2011

Post One Hundred and Forty Three: A Frank Discussion About It.

Sometimes, when an adult person works in seclusion, the mind can wander.

Sometimes, the adult mind wanders into an area that their parents minds shouldn't know about. Parents of mine take heed - I'm about to talk briefly but somewhat loosely (pun time) about adult sex and my general successes and failures concerning the act. Family folk; I am happy to assist you in continuing the delusion that I'm still NOT an adult, and thus a virgin destined for eventual romantic coupling with a handsome male olympic medalist.

As such, stop reading now Nanna. You'll be confused, but you should be proud. Really. Cheers.

For continuing readers, I realise that this is quite an aberrant topic for this blog. People working with dead people are conjectured to be respectful and wholly appropriate. And I am. At work and most public occasions. I do however think that in working with death, you should understand life. And life couldn't exist without sex and love and the amalgamation of those two fine ideas. Plus, switching the topic of taboo every now and again is thrilling.

Please note as a final stern warning that I don't think that cadavers are sexy. That's just gross.


I've always been drastically fascinated with love and intimacy. This interest was and still remains to be personally peppered with intrigue, peculiarity and a general overriding apprehension. I was in grade two and a friend told me that when grown ups make a baby the male penis can get glued into the female vagina. Glued. From then on I've been amazed with what people do to each other when their bodies and their hearts mess around. I still wonder about the glue thing. You never know. Sperm IS weird.

I think that I'm pretty crap at 'it'. I'm just no good at flinging my body around with people that I can't relax with. Being a social retard, getting comfortable around attractive people in any occasion, clothed OR unclothed, is endlessly a struggle. And mustering up the energy to be intimate with people that I don't deem as attractive seems pretty stupid also.

And how does one stop themselves from falling in love with their bed partner post-coitus? I'm 27 and I'm yet to figure it out. Characters that have had the pleasure(?) of being intimate with me are probably duly intimate with the understanding that I get Disney ideas and altogether unrealistic delusions of romantic grandeur. It's a shame but I'll probably never be a true harlot.

If I ever have kids I'm going to be pretty honest with them about the whole sex caper. I'm going to tell them that I flunked the quiz, but obviously still managed to procreate anyway. I'd say to fall in love, any way possible, including the gay ways. I'd say to love more than one person at once, at least once. Why not? And I guess I'd tell them to ask their father about whether or not penises can get glued into vaginas.



  1. I'm 35 (or 36?) and married with one kid. And I never managed to separate love and sex. If I had sex with someone it would go on to become a monogamous relationship because I'd fall in love. I think that's fine. I can't imagine one without the other. And my son doesn't want to hear me talk about sex, but I've told him to throw himself into love, enjoy any kind of consensual sex, keep himself safe physically, and accept the fact that you can't keep yourself totally safe emotionally and still live.

  2. I reckon I fall into the same category as you, sarah. Despite all good (or not so good!?!) intentions, everyone (and I'm talking a single figure here...) I have had sex with, I have loved. Some I've loved a little, others I've loved far too much. sometimes this idealisation has occurred pre-sex, but more often it has been post-coitus. Suffice to say our bodies produce some crazy chemicals that go to our head sometimes!

    This discussion makes me wonder about the "friends with benefits" thing. I mean, how does one NOT get all attached to someone they might see fairly often, either socially or otherwise? can you truly separate sex from love, and then love from friendship? I am not against such relationships, and I even suggested trying it with one partner, who was horrified I might add, even though I thought he'd be all for it. Ah, the mysteries of sex!

  3. They can be glued. The right social lubricant makes dominatrices of the most diffident daint of a demure doll, doll. Still, finding even that is not easily done. There really isn't as much to work with as i'd like. But girls dont have to perform, not for boys anyway. Not really.

  4. hello, love your the book "Sex at Dawn" it might help you to understand yourself and the other billions on this planet. it is based on primate research into our sexual appetites, behaviors, polyamory, etc.

    cheers! pamela

  5. I can't separate the two either. I'd like to believe they loved me once.