Monday, June 27, 2011

Post One Hundred and Thirty: Weird Food.

I had a really awesome dream last night. Alarmingly, my dream was so captivating that I slumbered with my body weight stacked on my right arm. I woke up freaking out that my arm was unusually numb; could aliens have exchanged my flapper for a long fat rubber one? It took me a couple of minutes to shake the delusion and waggle the blood back into my digits.

Anyway, the dream was pretty stupid. I was writing this blog in the dream, and then I decided to write another blog. The new blog was called something like "Weird Food" and I just wrote a heap of weird funny shit about eating. It's probably something I should look into. I love eating, I love gross things, so this all seems like a natural progression.

I'm back to work tomorrow. Heading back into the mortuary after a couple of days of fresh air is always a struggle. The smells, oh the smells!

Keep safe,

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Post One Hundred and Twenty Nine: System Failure - My Personal Imbroglio.

I'm not a smoker (So, self, WHY ARE YOU SMOKING?). Foolery.

I'm currently making bad decisions on a dependable and consonant inventory. It must be that forces are aligning quietly to make me as emotionally uncomfortable and privately unstable as possible. I threw my last dollar for the week on black and lost. I mixed a lot of red wine with a lot of gin, three nights in a row. I lost my soup. I also lost my iPhone, my only connection to the internets and my valued human population, because I didn't take a bag out. Lesson learned that stockings cannot support 137grams of expensive telecommunications.

I'm in Perth presently for the annual Australian Institute of Embalmers Conference. It has been a weekend full of swan river cruising, ruinous buffet gormandizing and wild west fancy dressings. As well as ungovernable, shiraz fuelled social events we attended day time educational sessions covering topics such as facial reconstruction, the effects of chemotherapy on embalming and death close to birth. My observations are thus: Embalmers are amazing. Warm, funny, outgoing and honest. It was a conference of passionate professionals who know stupid amounts of information about very intriguing things, and I love that I can work in close association with them. I may even certify some time!

I'm now making use of this computer, it's free and it's lovely. Perhaps my luck is changing? Maybe I'll walk out into the lobby and Lindsay Lohan will be there, winking at me and offering a cigarette.

Peace x

Also, this happened.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Post One Hundred and Twenty Eight: Stripped.

An open letter to the universe:

Dearest Universe,

Please provide.

It is a sad day. I am computerless. Without ownership of a beloved techno-gadget to connect, collaborate and entertain. And blog. Gah!

I haven't owned one in about five years. I've always lived in shared accomodation and have thus mooched of others for the commodity. I'm out on my own now in the big scary world and thus have no computer, no spider killing skills, no pegs and no dish cloths. The spiders I can kill with kindness, the last two things I can afford, just, but the computer is going to take a long time and preeminantly lots and lots of death. I need overtime. I need my second job back. I need a lotto ticket.

Maybe, just maybe, something will fall off the back of a truck. Maybe, just maybe, it'll be an Apple iMac. Maybe a mega huge one. (It'll probably be a cheap notebook on clearance at Tandy with sticky keys and a cracked screen).

Sorry for all you blog thirsty readers, I'll try as often as I can to continue mooching off others until I buy something. I also promise to write more about the crazy things that have been

Until then, Peace.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Post One Hundred and Twenty-Seven: When You Say Nothing At All.

Damn Ronan Keeting and all that he is. Silence to you, sir.

I was feeling decidedly better until I started thinking about Ronan Keating.

This distraction aside, I've realised it's not becoming of me to dwell and depress. Huzzah! I was starting to feel alien, and not in the good John Lithgow/Alex Mac sense. My face is made for smiling, it seems, and I'm just sad-lesson-learning during this part of my life. Anyway, herein is another tip o' the hat to advice well received.

I'm a talker. I like to have a yarn. I don't mean chit chattery, shitty gossip or conversational niceties; but if something is on my mind it feels natural for me to talk about it with the parties concerned. As it turns out, sharing how you feel isn't always the smartest way to go about things. I like being transparent and knowing that the people who know me understand my perspective. Yet is there tact and benefit in calm and restraint?

And I'm back to the same old mind pickle. Do you tell/show/do whatever you need to because of the odd but not impossible chance that you get may get hit by a BCC bus crossing the street to buy a marked down pumpkin curry after 2PM? Maybe. Probably not.

Call me.