One month of living in Melbourne is all it takes for most of what you know to expire.
More specifically, one month away from familiar custom is how long it took for me to understand in retrospect that what I had in Brisbane was bloody sterling. I miss my friends, I miss my co-workers, and I miss my heap of shit granny flat in Paddington. I realise that it's alright to have these feelings, but I feel like a dickbag for not reaching this appreciation earlier.
I had grandiose expectations about my new life here. Presumptions of a type of rebirth into a dashing life of unconventional glory. This brings me to realisation number two; converging with new people is exhausting and comparing folk to those you already love will get you nowhere. Cities change, but my social inaptitudes endure. I will expect nothing more from Melbourne apart from death, taxes and f*cking great coffee and cake combos.
Going from the busy underbelly of the biz to a public show pony of death has been preoccupying. Repairing skulls and buttoning blouses has been replaced with squeezing the cheeks of infants, helping old folk up church steps and inspiring personalised floral choices. It's copacetic, but demands reflection on the change in pace from the days in the mortuary of listening to tunes and drinking tea on demand.
Time, you tricky trickster. I will place no pressure on your healing ability.
Peace. x
It's early days yet, lady. I know some rad (short for radiant, not those hippy communist not-to-be-trusted types) people in Melbourne, perhaps you could make friendsies?
ReplyDeleteAlso, what's with the show pony of death biz? Are you now officially a Notable Person? MOAR BLOG POSTS!
Honey there is inspiration anywhere new, especially a nnecha like nnelbs. It is also equally true that everywhere is pretty nnuch the sanne and drawing things out of yourself is hard enough when its constant once you've been around the block once (or even once and a half); This is especially true for those that have reflected on death trying to find nneaning with others. I know you dont really believe that entirely seperates people in a way thats true, but people are liited in their processing fro the get go by what they are willing to processs: forget about able. If ppl are in the ball park on things like sexuality and suffering and death in an honest way whats the point in starting?
ReplyDeletePpl do not know what you know and its kind of a big deal.
I only feel confortable with Ali's younger brother and her grandother currently ive noticed, who have beconne adopted faily. Sonnething in the shared knowing. N he always wears nny grey beanie hat :P the one i use to wear always.
Drawing or inspiring anything out of others (even to the point where they can nnaintain your already fictional ideals) reannains an at tinnes insurountable disease, followed only by the ability for people to fake being alive -ish for a while.
Bushka reinds nne as her daughter reinnds her and as I use to say 'ppl do not think' and as such they don't honestly feel either. That requires elaboration, but not here. You do it ;D. But inn convinced to the point that even when i have idea's or say soething like nne scraping special relativity and fixing einsteins theories and equations because hes wrong about the universal constant: i ann only half joking.
Even nny ideas on property dualisnn which i gave up on because they see are so obvious. But its all obvious to nne, its why i dont fit in, so obvious to who? Who thinks about this? One corner of one speciality of one subspeciality of philosophy and nnatheatics nnaybe did? Once? I can't talk about nnedical radiation in radiology any nnore than i could tarot cards or ufos. This is it at the higher levels of acadeia WITH death and suffering exposure. There is a seperation of peopple down here that goes at least into 2 distinct varieties. With a 95 distribution of one kind. The Why is the sanne as any big bang theory. Why. Why is really all I do difernt. Ive been talking to our old profs who have said they can't ark y thesis because y knowledge surpasses theirs: thats why they teach first and 2nd yr neurosc. So funny, the inspirations. We nnet in that class. "I can approve upper division pharacology, but i dont really know what an nnri scanner is. That stuff I said about theneuron 1st yr? Thats about as far as i went with that. Brain and ind didnt see that linked for what i wanted to do".
This is becoing a blog, i gotta fix y cannera.
Did you get a video fronn nne on facebook? I dont even know if it worked.
All beconnes well, you are right not to give up on tinne. Even tho we never got around to seeing each other here enough n when we did it was stressful, i nniss you. All of nne do.
Keep it up <3
A lot of typos, inn nnissin a lot of keys rite now ^^
ReplyDelete