Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Post One Hundred and Nineteen: The Steady Abolition of Fear.

I'm in post-public speaking reverie. The convention, and my brief but terrifying stint as an expert is over for now...

I had to speak very recently in front of a particularly large group of experienced industry professionals. The presentation, complimented by a delightfully colourful slideshow, was required after winning a scholarship late last year. Let me add that this was the SCARIEST DAMN EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD in my 26.5 years on the planet. Scary, but unbelievably rewarding.

I highly respected the faces I could see in the room. It seemed that all eyes focused on me and my quivering eyebrow. I couldn't pick up my glass of water because my hands shook and my arms wouldn't function without jerking as if I was doing the robot. My heart thumped in my chest so much that my stomach and ribs pained me. In short, my mortality was brought into question.

I don't know how I did it. Similarly, I don't know how I fooled people into thinking that I was comfortable. I thought my voice sounded foreign, but others complimented my poise. Poise, whilst fearing that a bucket was required for a speedy breakfast removal.

After the presentation my endorphin levels skyrocketed and I felt a rush of pride. Business cards were slipped to me quicker than an E at mardi gras. I can't remember the last time I really surprised myself, or did something that made me feel like I was really achieving. Most of the time I'm shaking my head at my immaturity and comfortable averageness, laughing at questionable homonyms and miserably failing at recalling punchlines...


P.S.Thank you bar man (who looked like a cast member of Party Down), for your kind words and alcohol-based supply of courage in the lead up.

Peace. x


  1. You realise when you do things that freak you out that you really can achieve anything! I have now learnt to love that thumping heart, sweaty palms and general nervousness and to conquer your fears makes you a better version of yourself. Kudos to you Sarah!

  2. Much love for the Party Down reference!!
    Well done on overcoming your fear!

  3. Kickass to see you m'lady! Hats off to your 'grabbing of the bull by the horns'. I went there. I actually went there.

  4. Great work miss , your post reminded me of the fantastic 1 Giant Leap track - Come to the Edge