Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Post One Hundred and Twenty-Three: The Act of Giving and Receiving.

I want to believe that we had a ghost in the mortuary today.

I'm usually skeptical, but I like to imagine that he held a voice of reason. The stereo in the embalming room kept dropping out of signal and the volume jumping wildly. Interestingly, we had a young guy in our care and I think he just wanted to mess around with the tunes and show off his casper skills.

As I worked around him, I wondered if he could give me any advice. I'm peculiar. I'd never ask a stranger that was alive for tips on my personal quandaries. I questioned, in his short life what did he learn about love? What did he share with his closest companies?

What does it mean to connect with someone? And does it necessarily mean anything if we do?

I realised something pretty lousy about my own experience. I don't understand love. I don't understand the sustainability of intimacy in one relationship if culture promotes living in truth and freedom. One in every three marriages end in divorce, so why do so many people do it? Is it stability? Is it comfort? Is it settlement? Is it fantasy? Is it real?

I want to believe in love. I'm usually skeptical.



  1. Why do we do it?

    Because we have few choices.

    Any other arrangement is considered outside the social norm and frowned upon.

    We are capable of many loves in our lives - the love of parents, the love of family, the love of children, the love of partners.

    When we have our first child, we don't suddenly use up our allotment of love. When our second child comes along, we grow more love with which to embrace them, too.

    But the world expects us to choose just one person to love with intimacy.

    And I think that is awful.

    Because love is it's own lifeforce and cannot be dictated.

    In my humble opinion.

  2. 1 in 3 marriages fail. that means that TWO out of every THREE actually survive - don't focus on the ONE that fails, rather focus on the TWO that work.

    why do we do it? for a variety of reasons, some valid, some not valid in other people's eyes and some really strange reasons but i think it comes down to this - if you want to get married, whatever the reason and you've found a willing participant who also wants to get married [to you of course], then why NOT do it? better to have tried and failed than never tried at all...


    p.s. re the ghost, more than possible, the younger the spirit the more likely they are to do miscevious stuff like sounds on radio going up and down etc