Thursday, December 13, 2012

Post one Hundred and Ninety Five: To you, Highly Regarded Imaginary Offspring.

What would I tell my theoretical thirteen year old daughter about growing up and being a woman of influence and strength?


My lady,

Your mother loves you. She thinks you're an excellent human being based on the fact that hopefully you've reached this level of maturity without setting other family members on fire.Your face also resembles hers or the person that she does/once love(d), so there's joy found in the nostalgia for her that takes away the horrific memories of labour and the subsequent occasional bladder control problems that she experiences to this day. She's sure you're brilliant. She's sure that you're her proudest accomplishment.

She feels that now is a perfect time to talk to you about your potential. You're at an age where not only can you influence your life, but you can take it and build a megalopolis. You can also run away (when at legal age) and build a teepee in the middle of the Mojave desert with a large exotic black man, if that is what you feel will enrich your days. If you don't mind her and her cats moving into either establishment with you when she's 80 and senile, then you're both winning.

At the time of your mother writing this you are not born, conceived or even possible. In fact, your mother is yet to find a partner that can handle her perspective, her past, and her slightly incongruent plans for the future. At this moment she is flying a flag of self-deprecation, but in an unorthdox way she feels that by writing to you now she is both making sense of her situation, bringing hope into her mindset, and being altogether quite hilarious.

Do what you want in love and in life, always. But do it with every awareness of the future and those that share the world around you. Be kind, be honest, be fair and be compassionate. This will help with that fact that life itself does not always manifest these characteristics. Do not care what other people think of you. Listen, always, because every bit of interaction will shed light on something. It may be bullshit but it's still a lesson, even if uncomfortable.

Do not strive for perfection. It is not even a goal. It's something created by a dickhead who didn't understand the concept of the middle path. Just be. Be you, and be admired by doing so.

Thirteen marks the beginning of a really rewarding time for self exploration. You are not a child anymore - hooray! Your body is doing really whack stuff, but rest assured that all of your friends are pretty much going through the same thing even though you'll more than likely be hairier than the rest of them. Don't worry, this year your mother will pay for ALL OF THE LASER. Your body is your vehicle for so many excellent things, not the be all and end all but a very interesting shell. Keep it safe and treasured, but forgive yourself when you bump it. It will take quite some time to understand and grow into. You are not alone, but you will soon understand that you can be very sufficiently.

She wants you to understand that when the time is right, you will have your heart taken by somebody. Well, it will feel that way, but in reality what you've done is given it over. Make your decisions based on the way they make you feel; you and they should be excited and inspired, and if so it will be the start of something tremendous. If your body doesn't respond to the way they look at you, and if that isn't corresponding to your intuition on their role, go and chat to your mother. Do not allow people to make you feel less than valued. If you've done something shit and fessed up, the right people will stand true and the others will fall away leaving you to do the right thing next time. At the end of it all, believe it or not your mum has experience in both being heartbroken and in breaking hearts. Love is good. This is all the insight that she holds on the matter right now, but it made/will make you and that is good, so YAY LOGIC.

Your childhood days are passed so let them go. You cannot change them. Your mother hopes that those days were filled with an appropriate mix of imagination and reality. Appropriate for you, and what you required to grow. She hopes that you weren't embarrassed by her crying every time you sung a song from the 90's in the right key and in the same style as the original and not the shitty remix. She hopes that you felt safe from threat in her care, no matter how universal.  Above all, she hopes that you know happiness and will have the confidence to fling it around to others.

Go! Be! Don't fear, ever! SHE GOT YO BACK.


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  2. Dear young lady,

    Perhaps over the coming years you'll find reasons to disagree at times, but know that your mother is truly one of those awesome individuals of which there are far too few in this world. With her behind you, you'll have so many opportunities and become just as awesome a person, I'm sure. You scored big time in life getting her as a mother, so treasure every experience you can with her. Hopefully you too will get to experience amazing people just like your mother. They can seem few and far between at times, so treasure every interaction with them.

    Also, setting family members on fire is quite humorous and should be attempted at least once.

    Good luck!

  3. Oh dear lord no! Don't put anything in writing! She'll hold it up and go "he hmm" and point furiously to the battered document (covered in plastic and photocopied a few times) whenever you disagree with the point in contention. You say this now as a child free individual but once you become a mother things change. You change. And in doing so you become what you said you never would. Delete this post or fear the wrath of a 13 year old lawyer who thinks they know everything (and probably do). :P

    On a more serious note - in another post you say that you pray at funerals with the bereaved. I'm not sure if i ever read if you believed in a religion or not (i come back every now and again and a lot of water flows under the bridge of my brain). My question is do you pray with them as comfort if you are an atheist or is it something that comes from the heart to a person in need rather than a missive to a higher power. (just so you have some background on where i'm coming from: i'm atheist and when we have dinner at a friends house and they say grace i'm never sure how i should be responding - i just shut my mouth and wait till it's over . . and sometimes just say thanks in my head to the guests for the excellent food)

    Is there ever a clash of belief between yourself and your clients? One of those points where you think - boy that is crazy!

    I get from this blog that you are everything professional at what you do. Just wondering if these thoughts go through your head.

    Feel free to blast me and my ignorance - but i am coming from a genuinely interested angle.

  4. Hi Simon, sorry to take so long to respond. No excuses, I am a very lazy woman.

    To answer your questions, I am not religious. In fact, I feel quite comfortable in saying that I think Religion can be debilitating. Note that I said "can be." As far as I can ascertain, it can also bring comfort to people when they need it to see the next day through. If a client is lonely, and if prayer is of assistance to them, I will pray. I will pray for the soul of the deceased, out of respect for the impact of their loss on those that loved them. Most of the time I sit there and wish. I close my eyes, and wish them well.

    There are times in almost every day where I see people and think that they are crazy. Many people ignore the realities of death. It is weird.

    Question away. It shows that you are not a man of ignorance, but of information.

  5. Thanks for the reply Sarah - no problems with the delay, completely understand. I'm just happy that you are putting your thoughts out there (fills some kind of voyeuristic tendency i think we all have to try and understand other people)

    Anyways, have a good 2013 - just keep plugging away at life. It'll give you good stuff and bad, a lot can happen in one turn around the sun. As of the 3rd of jan i've done 38 of em. I think on my epitaph i'll have them put "can't complain" . . . .although i still have a fair way to go (fingers crossed) it might end up being "bugger you all" :)