Friday, March 23, 2012

Post One Hundred and Forty Seven: I Forgo Thee, Unholy Nectar.

I love to have a drink.

I can have one single unit of beer and feel a slight laxity of composure. Two drinks in and I have the laissez faire and overstated confidence of a six year old at a wiggles concert. I level out after three or four beers into a state of entertainment, but any juncture after that is consummately reliant upon the environment at hand and the selection of poison. I get ripped easily, and frequently, and I think it's time to consider where that road can take someone, i.e. me, without much notice.

At 27, I've been drinking without a break for ten years. Most weekends without question. If I haven't sunk a couple on a Friday and Saturday night it's been due to that fact that I've been working or hung over from the night before.  Is my experience that different from most other people in my peer group? I think not. I am the poster girl for binge drinking 2012.

We enjoy getting together to share happiness and hubbub, and a drop of whiskey can lubricate our egos just enough to talk about the concepts that we haven't got the confidence or forthrightness to speak about sober. In some occasions, these areas of conversation shouldn't be entered into at any time, especially when under the effect of alcohol. Still, being a shy girl at heart, feeling free from social constraint is pretty fun and I can see why most weekends I so easily picked up a stubby and swayed my way into most Saturdays. 

Small but sure wrinkles are beginning to creep outwards from my eyelids. My face is slowly and certainly losing the apple shape that I used to hate.  Of course the crap that I'm putting in to my body, especially after ten years, is starting to have an effect on the supposed 'windows to my soul'. It's time for a regulation, a self check, before things go to far. 

About once a week I deal with a family who's mum/dad/sibling has died due to alcohol related disease. They often hide the real cause of death, but you can see in the shattered family dynamics that to have a loved one addicted to booze is to not really have them there at all. 

I'm not saying I'm an alcoholic. Family and friends please do not call an intervention. I'm just glad that I've noticed an involvement in a part of youth culture that is not always good, not always bad, but not always thought about proactively. 

Peace (and moderation). x


  1. You are so brave to write this post.Isnt it amazing how things just hit us and suddenly we see.
    When I was a young nurse that was our way of life on every days off.I think it was to dull the horrible and sad things we had to deal with every day.
    My nana was in her 50s before she realised what damage alcohol had done to her family and her life,but she did something about it...better late than never.My sister is in her 40s and still wont see what it is doing to hers.She thinks its ok as is only weekend drinking.Like you said the wrinkles appear (she doesnt see them)she is 10 years younger and has way too many and has that drawn out dull appearance.But apart from physical damage it does,it starts to affect relationships,friendships and many other areas of life.She has not learnt anything from nanas experience.Our aging parents shouldnt have to worry about her like they do.Very sad.
    Even though I dont know you I am so proud of you.It is a wise person who can come to see when change is needed.Enjoy the new road you are taking.It can only get better from here x