Generally speaking, when male mourners make funeral arrangements their decisions are based on the availability of funds and the ease and effectiveness of procedures. It's not surprising really, but women focus their decision making on emotional connections and sentimentality.
Women often say things like "We'll select a flower arrangement to match the coffin, to match the dress that Nan/Mum/Hildeberg is wearing...of which was her favourite colour in 1985 and was the colour of the bridesmaids dressing at the wedding....." and so on and so on. I think it's nice that the ladies seem to ride the funeral personalisation band wagon. It makes things all the more interesting, but is it interesting for me just because I'm a woman (and a funeral director at that)?
Death is a non selective process, as in death gets us all at some stage, so we have a pretty good sample for a study on buyers choice patterns. Our 'customers' come from all religions, nationalities, classes and orientations, yet it really does seem as though when it comes to planning funerals the boys rush in and out and the girls stay and play for hours.
Is this the groundbreaking discovery that women are more at ease about and around death than men, or is it that dudes just don't really seem to be excited about flowers and frills? Interesting...
Peace. x
Very interesting, now you put this perspective on it!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I love how you numbered your post:)I agree with you, us girls do seem to love the flowers and frills.I also found in my experinece in nursing homes women in general are stronger than men (sorry fellas).Not always because they want to be but sometimes have to be.One of my favorite sayings is 'Keep me as the apple of your eyes,hide me under the shadow of your wings'.When a woman does or does not have a partners strength to help her along in life,she CAN become extra strong to cope with whatever life throws her.With death I found men wanted to get in and out and over and done with as quick as possible.They didnt seem to be able to face death and dying the same way as women.Is it because we have womens intuition,mothers/nuturing instinct,who knows.Whatever it is you must have it Sarah. To be able to do what you do with such sensitivity and caring and making the world a better place along the way.Ps how did your talk go with your dad after he found the second dead person?I think it was meant to bring you together to understand eachothers stages in life.
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