Thursday, August 5, 2010

Post Forty-Four: I Couldn't Have Stopped Him.

I'm totally bummed. It's so close to the weekend and I'm gearing up for some raucous behaviour, but at work today I couldn't really pull myself out of gloomingdales. I even turned down a Dr. Pepper with lunch, and I think I'm considering a diet. (My dentist told me to cut down my sugar intake because I'm holey, I'm getting fillings in filling'd teeth!) I have the gloomies. And I love Dr. Pepper.

Anyway, It's because I think I reached a new level this week. I've had at least one suicide case a day all week, and today I had two in a row. It tires me. I wish I could stop them from coming in, but in death stats they are a big morbid contender. Blurgh.

Mental Illness is prolific in our community. I think we are (very slowly) seeing a change in the way people view mental health issues. In the next elected government I hope more emphasis will be placed on support for those suffering from mental diseases, including aid for the families and carers involved. Go team, right? Bring in the troops.

I'm pretty pissed off with myself that I haven't involved myself in mental health related support organisations since I left uni. In fact, I studied alot about them, but did I ever help? Probably not. I'm going to get onto that. I'd like to help someone consider life instead of suicide. I want to braid peoples hair when they're alive too god damn it! (P.S. I'm a sloppy braider).

I understand pain and suffering, I think, enough to know that sometimes it feels like things will be easier when you're out of the picture. Things can get overwhelming to say the least. The world is shit a lot of the time. The truth is, life in unjust. I cling to Dr. Pepper.

A final thought, consider changes in perspective from sources of wisdom. Sharing is a start. People like me, across Australia, want to help.

Peace and love. x


  1. Mental illness leading to suicidal tendencies (I used to love that band) is one thing that can be pretty tough to diagnose. There are side effects of medications that can lead to the same things and I always wonder if these mask an underlying mental illness. Education and awareness I guess is the only way.

  2. Hi,
    My gawjuz Beautiful son Nicolas ended his life, on the sunny morning with his belt in a park he'd had enough , Got a new heart, downside was going to loose his bowel . Not a great option at 23! had a thought this was going to happen so he was locked up in the mental health ward at the hospital. Charming sneaky boy he was walked out and found the park. In the mourge he did have a confused look on his face when i went to identify him his dad wasnt up for the job Mind u i just wanted to see him anyway. had a HUGE funeral best of everything, think there is a song about that. his dad Hired the best barrister for the inquest at least many laws have been changed in the mental health act and training for police thanks to Nic!
    p.s changed my profile pic to a pic of my boy to show you how gawjuz he is. sorry i went on for so long and ur responce to the previous blog touched my heart and stayed with my for days ...

  3. I love your blog, but reading it seriously kills my eyes. Even after I have finished, all I see is white lines of text in mid air :)

  4. Hey Katie, dude, I totally didn't even think about how harsh the white was on black! Sorry! I love how the black looks, i'm wondering how I can still have it look cool but be less painful.....thanks for the feedback.

  5. Madonna, your son Nicolas was gorgeous. Thanks for sharing your story. It's great that legal changes were made! You sound like an amazing mother and I can imagine that your other children must view you as superwoman. I am so happy that you find comfort in my blog, even though it is so silly and nonsensical sometimes. x

  6. I've been on a Sarah fest and read about 6 of your last posts, yet this one made me stop.

    So true, because if people can share, suddenly something that was crushing them, may be lightened and the only option they thought they had might suddenly expand. I love your blog and your beautiful heart x